Bonobos

It's not uncommon for characters to decide their own fate and act against the writer's wishes. They seem to have their own inner and outer moral compass, especially regarding infidelity. The road to that is full of intense excitement. The nuanced aspects of infidelity will kill you when you look on as an outsider, constantly umpiring and with a moral code. Still we deeply and secretly relish infidelity.  

This is my experiment.

At first, Siddarth was upset when Naila left him, choosing to marry Vijay. However, it wasn’t long when they were overcome by a desire to love clandestinely; a paramour’s love tastes better when you live in the present moment. My own observation tells me that nine out of ten people pass through this delightful dark tunnel, but they all keep it veiled inside their treasure trunks.   

Let’s see what happens when Naila and Siddarth enter their own special private moment, when they knew that these secret meeting were going to end abruptly.

The moment all certification and events were completed for their migration to Canada, Naila, started feeling breathless. Was she is going to lose something forever? What has she committed to?

All these days, it was just a secret buried deep within her body. Hints of pain always disturbed her, but she also had moments of comfort concealed inside her. The more she tried to loosen the knot, the grip grew more and more firm. When she got tired of her efforts and admitted defeat, she slowly inserted the idea of him meeting her. 

Naila doesn’t even want Vijay to sense her inner nuances in the pasture of her love for Siddarth. Totally aware of her position as a wife and a mother, she continues to crave to meet Siddarth with an intensity that surprises her as well. Her hidden love has been subtle from her childhood. But now everything is so intense that her intuition warns her that their platonic relationship was about to change.   

 

“Finally!”

Siddarth takes her by her hand to the couch and sits on the floor facing her and caressing her thighs.

Naila, wearing a wry smile takes her time, staring at him in a long non-verbal yes.

“Is it right from me ask to why at this juncture?”

“Good for my Kiku.”

“The we’ll meet after four or five years,” Siddarth said. “Who knows, maybe it will be longer.”

“Who is there for us here?” Naila moved her eyes away. “In any case….”

Siddarth stared at her gloomily, “No one… including me.”

          “No…” said Naila, stroking his face “but….”

          [Quietness….

Quietness….

Quietness….]

          “What do you want to drink?” asked Siddarth breaking the long silence. The quietness between them was disconcerting. He had felt as if the whole charm of waiting for her was slowing dissolving in the air to nothingness. He panicked. This could be worst kind of way to take the situation. He surely needed her even though he tried to pretend otherwise. Did sadness and thoughtfulness leak through his stares?

Naila sensed his nervousness She felt tremulousness on the inside even though she acted funnily at him. Suddenly, Baul flowed aimlessly like a smoke from a cigar as Siddarth stood up and turned on the music player. 

“Kichu Din Mone Mone……….”

          {Keep your love deep within you,

          Secretly in the core of your body for few days

          Speak in hints, in the pasture of love

          Let no one guess, hear, or know for days

          Look at the dark clouds passing by

          Put soggy wood on the stove in the kitchen and cry his name

          Dive in his love, but don’t let your clothes get wet

          Be madly in love, but don’t let the people know

          Tell them you are heading south while you secretly move north

          Enjoy the madness of secret love, don’t let anyone know it’s worth

          Keep your love deep. Deep inside you

          Secretly inside the core of your body

          Just speak in hints, in the pasture of love,

          Let no one guess, hear, or know for a few days}

 

Naila slowly drew herself closer to him and immersed herself in him and the song. “Why this song now?” Naila asked. “Is there anything wrong with me? These days I am totally confused; I feel like I am going to spoil everything in a moment.”

          “Would you like to have Smirnoff?”

          “Oh no!” Naila said. “Three…. I got parole for three hours only. Told him I am going to meet my hair stylist.”

          “Where is Vijay?”

          “At home,” Naila said. “Kiku is alone.”

          “Any hints for him?”

          “I think so,” Naila said. “But he will not ask until I tell him.”

          “I thought you’d stay tonight.”

          “Staying tonight!” Naila laughed with incredulity. “Three hours is not enough!” She came and poured vodka in a glass.

          “If you don’t, I don’t need, too.”

          “Kiku is alone; you know that.”

          “Then you should not have taken such risk,” Siddarth said, moving away “I can see the wife’s guilt in your eyes.”

          “Why?” Naila said. “I cannot comment on that because you are a kite without a thread.”

          Siddarth guffawed, “Whatever! You look so pretty.”

          “I was waiting to hear that!!!” Naila grinned.

          “Really?” Siddarth moved his face close enough to touch her lips.

          “Why did you talk about guilt!” Naila moved her face away. “Now that you said it, I really do feel guilty.”

          Siddarth took his vodka glass and stood straight in front of her.

          “If there is an Ektara, you exactly look like a Baul,” Naila smiled.

          “You are my Baul!” And before Naila could move, Siddarth went and kissed her on her cheek.

          “What do you want!?” Naila pushed him away. “We were able to carry on platonically all these years. Why now?”

          “I don’t know!” he sighed, rubbing his fingers on his neck. “I guess we will never meet again.”

          “I just wanted to say a bye,” Naila said. “Are you expecting something else?”

          “Expecting….” Siddarth giggled.

          “Imagine, we would have married!!” Naila giggled.

          “Ohh….”

          “We would have fought and killed each other; and separated years back!”

          “I don’t think so.”

          “What do you want?” Naila asked. “Tell me.”

          “Don’t know,” Siddarth shrugged. He came and held her close. 

          “Is this right?” Naila face became red. “I’m not sure.”

          “It’s all happening between us. Why are you worried?”

          “What’s the time?”

          “You told me you had three hours.”

          “Yes.”

          “Will you blame me… afterwards?”

          “Of course.”

          “So, you are not comfortable!”

          “Yes” Naila said sturdily. “I’m a married woman. You are not committed and safe.”

          “We may never meet again, Naila,” Siddarth said somberly. He stood still, holding her, his eyes silently pleading. “Why to grieve like this….”

          “I was just cleansing myself, a kind of catharsis, to check how it feels. It’s terrible, Siddhu. I can’t…” Then she broke away seeing how her words really upset him. “Are you sad?” Siddarth stepped back and away from her luminous eyes. He drained the vodka in a gulp.

Just then the calling bell struck. It felt like a slap on his face. He jerked, out of fear, whispering, “Who could it be, at this moment?”

Naila stood up abruptly. “Let me open the door.”

“No…!” Siddarth screamed while Naila strode forward to the front door. She turned aside and gave a salacious smile at Siddarth as if everything was over. She was now embracing and meeting the expectations of a morally-driven society while unlocking the door.     

          Hmmm…

I am sure all you guys were squirming in your seats wondering whether this ex-couple were really going to sleep with each other. 

Let’s be honest here. Deep down in your hearts, you really wanted to see their nude bodies but your fake “sanskaars” and your fake morality standards came in between like it always does; un-wanted hindrance. I really despise this pretense of wearing this cloak of decency and lifting this societal code of ethical behavior that all you meekly follow. This is such a sham. The truth is you are simply unable to get out of the circle of moral code that society has built around you.

When are you going to rip off this artificial mask of sincerity, honesty and civilized performance? 

This is all a melodramatic joke! 

You all think that you are truly incorruptible with that bloated sense of self-importance and social conscience. To all you protectors of morality let me tell you this: you are truly repulsive with your utter nonsense notions of self-righteousness.

          The calling bell was rung by Naila’s husband Vijay, who takes her hand and draws her out of the room to the open culture, painfully obeying the moral standards. All of you who watch this with pleasure, all of you who don this societal mask in the belief that monogamy is strictly followed here and infidelity is avoided at least in the openness, pat yourself on the back.

         

As a writer, this was not what I wanted to flow out of my pen, but it turned out like this.

If some of you Bonobos are ready to act like Naila and Siddarth, I will expose in exact detail what could have in fact happened.  

 

 

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